VEGAN PROTEST TURNS INTO OPEN WARFARE

 The Vegan Association Going Into a New Age (V.A.G.I.N.A) recently resorted to violence in what was supposed to be a peaceful protest. The incident occurred in Amsterdam, in the Netherlands on the 7th of September 2022. Members of V.A.G.I.N.A formed a column, and waving their banners, advanced towards the city center. On they way there, they stopped to yell at the local butcher, a Mr Edmond Van Dijk. In the chaos in confusion, the elderly Van Dijk accidentally dropped his cleaver on a protesters foot, wounding a teenager. 

At this, the members of V.A.G.I.N.A flew into a rage, pulling the elderly butcher apart and eating his flesh raw in the name of veganism. They then proceeded to enter his home and sacrifice all five of his young grandchildren, with their mother barely able to escape by hiding in the clothes dryer. However, while in the Van Dijk house, they accidentally released the four metre long saltwater crocodile in his basement, which fled into the canals and now poses a significant threat to the people of Amsterdam.

In the meantime, the column of protesters split in two after getting into an argument about vegan sausages, and proceeded to fight each other. With so much violence occurring on a single street, the Government of the Netherlands had no choice but to nuke Amsterdam, removing the presence of the V.A.G.I.N.A in the Netherlands.

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