THE BANANA PROBLEM AND HOW TO SOLVE IT
INTRODUCTION: Every year, 7.5 hundred million children are killed by eating a banana sideways. This is more than three times the population of Albania and represents the greatest threat to mankind since sliced bread created the great depression in 1924. QUESTION: How can this scourge on humanity be stopped? How can we save the children? And Albania? METHOD: The answer is simple - We must dilute the ocean, and this is how: 1. We increase carbon emissions, melting the polar ice caps and diluting the oceans with what is most likely fresh water. 2. Everybody turns their taps on and transports the water to the ocean in buckets. 3. All fire trucks will line up on the coastline and spray all their water into the sea. 4. All rivers and lakes will be relocated to the ocean. 5. Everyone stands in the ocean and cries, using their tears to dilute the ocean, while wearing coffee filters on their eyes. 6. All hoses will be ...