SALMON EXECUTED FOR TREASON

 In one of his first acts as King, Charles III has had the infamous salmon, Peter Tate, put to death for treason.

A Sockeye Salmon similar to the treasonous Peter Tate.

Peter Tate was a large Sockeye Salmon (Oncorhynchus nerka) that was well known for his misogynistic views and his hatred of the British Royal Family. As a British citizen, Peter Tate was a firm supporter of Brexit and is rumoured to have had an affair with Margaret Thatcher in 1980. 

Tate has always despised the Royal family since Elizabeth II, who was well known for her love of angling, reeled in and consumed his lover in 1964. From this moment, Tate despised the British Royal Family as well as all human women on the planet, with the exceptions of Thatcher and Ariana Grande.

Tate conspired to kill the Queen, and although the monarch died of natural causes before he could do anything, he celebrated and claimed that he was responsible for her death. Travelling to London to flop around on the streets, he was seized by the grieving crowd and thrown over the gates of Buckingham Palace. Once over the fence, he was swiftly put to death by the Royal Guard, who reportedly shot him 89 times before sending him to the kitchens.

King Charles III celebrated the death of Peter Tate, saying 'I am so relieved that the blasted salmon is dead, and my beloved mother can finally rest in peace.'

But what do you, the reader, think? Was Peter Tate justified in his hatred of the Monarchy? Was his death deserved? Tell us in the comments below, and RIP Queen Elizabeth II.

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