LIONS AND VEGANISM

 Recently I have found out a terrifying truth - The trend of going vegan has become popular with the African Lion (Panthera leo) population. This has potentially devastating impacts on the ecosystem and the entire world.

NOTE: This graph excludes the small population of lions in Asia, which we all know have been involved in the opium trade since 1854.

As can be seen in this graph, the number of lions involved in agriculture has seen a dramatic increase since humans began to survey lions in 1700. This is potentially devastating, as lions are apex predators and vital for a functioning ecosystem anywhere on the planet (including in your intestines, where they eat your multiple tapeworms). If all lions go vegan, this will allow the zebra and wildebeest populations they usually prey on to purchase arms from Russia. Think about all the harm a zebra with an assault rifle could do. Surely now, you understand the danger?

We all know that the moral of Animal Farm is that pigs are evil, but studies have shown that zebras are more than 15 times more likely to commit war crimes (than pigs) on average. This poses a serious threat to humanity, especially if the zebras make contact with the hyperintelligent moon squid.

Fortunately, this crisis can be averted by ensuring that lions remain carnivorous, and I therefore propose that we begin an extensive re-education campaign for all lions infected with the plague of veganism.

Thank you for your time, I would appreciate your opinions on this critical matter.


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